Are You Addicted to Success?
As professional women, we've likely spent years working hard to achieve success in our careers. This drive for success can sometimes turn into an addiction, leading to workaholism, objectification, and a host of other negative emotions and behaviors.
Workaholism is a behavioral addiction characterized by an intense and uncontrollable need to work. We might work long hours, neglect our personal lives, and have difficulty relaxing and disconnecting from work. A clear example is the story of Claire, a marketing executive in her late 40s, who had a long history of overworking herself. Despite her boss and colleagues praising her for her productivity and accomplishments, Claire always felt a sense of anxiety and unease. She never felt satisfied with her achievements and always felt like she could do more.
Objectification is the tendency to view people as objects or tools, rather than as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and needs. In the workplace, objectification can manifest in a variety of ways, such as valuing employees only for their productivity, rather than for their contributions as individuals. An example is the story of Maria, a software engineer who was hired by a tech company in her mid-40s. Maria was thrilled to have landed a job with such a prestigious company, but she quickly realized that her age was seen as a liability by her younger colleagues. Despite her significant experience and expertise, she was often sidelined or dismissed in favor of younger, less experienced engineers.
The fear of failing is a common emotion that can lead to avoidance of risks or challenges. In the workplace, fear of failing can lead to a reluctance to take on new challenges or try new things, which can limit our growth and development as professionals. An example of this is the story of Rachel, a mid-career attorney who had always dreamed of starting her own law firm. Despite her significant experience and expertise, she was constantly plagued by the fear of failing. She worried that she wouldn't be able to attract enough clients or that her firm would go bankrupt.
Social comparison is the tendency to compare ourselves to others, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or inferiority. In the workplace, social comparison can lead to a sense of competition or rivalry with colleagues, rather than collaboration and teamwork. An example of this is the story of Lisa, a high-level executive who had always prided herself on her accomplishments and her ability to outperform her colleagues. However, this pride led to a sense of isolation and disconnection from her colleagues, who saw her as more of a rival than a collaborator.
Despite achieving significant professional success, we may still feel unhappy or unfulfilled. This may be due to a lack of purpose, disconnection from our values and priorities, or simply a feeling that we're not living up to our full potential. An example of this is the story of Emily, a successful entrepreneur who had built a thriving business from scratch. However, despite her accomplishments, she often felt unhappy and unfulfilled. She realized that she had lost touch with her original purpose and passion for her work and was instead driven solely by the desire for success and achievement.
To combat the addiction to success, we can set clear boundaries between work and personal life. Consider establishing regular work hours and avoiding work-related tasks outside of those hours. It's also essential to connect with our values and priorities to find our sense of purpose and direction.
Practicing self-compassion can help combat negative emotions and behaviors such as fear of failing, fear of falling behind, and unhappiness. Rather than berating ourselves for mistakes or perceived shortcomings, we can treat ourselves with kindness and understanding.
Seeking out a supportive community can help combat social comparison and other negative emotions and behaviors. Consider seeking out mentorship or networking opportunities that can connect you with like-minded professionals who can offer support and guidance. Sharing our experiences and learning from others can help us feel less alone in our struggles and provide valuable insights and advice.
To combat objectification, it's essential to view others as individuals with their own unique experiences and contributions. Instead of valuing colleagues solely for their productivity, we should recognize their individual strengths and talents and seek to collaborate with them in a way that's mutually beneficial.
Rather than solely focusing on achievement and success, consider shifting your focus to learning and growth. Set goals that are focused on personal and professional development, rather than solely on achieving external markers of success. Focusing on learning and growth can help us combat the fear of failing and the fear of falling behind, by giving us a sense of progress and achievement that isn't solely tied to external metrics.
Practicing mindfulness can help combat the addiction to success by increasing our awareness and presence in the moment. This can help us become more attuned to our own needs and priorities, rather than solely focusing on external measures of success. By staying present and mindful, we can reduce feelings of anxiety and stress and increase our overall sense of well-being.
Embracing failure and setbacks can be challenging, but it's essential to our growth and development as professionals. Instead of fearing failure, we should view it as an opportunity for growth and learning. By embracing setbacks and failures, we can become more resilient and better equipped to handle challenges in the future.
The addiction to success is a pervasive issue for mid-life professional women, but it's not an insurmountable one. By setting clear boundaries, connecting with our values, practicing self-compassion, focusing on learning and growth, practicing mindfulness, seeking out support and community, and embracing failure and setbacks, we can combat negative emotions and behaviors and achieve greater fulfillment and happiness in our personal and professional lives.
Remember, success is important, but it's not the only thing that matters. By cultivating a sense of purpose and direction, and prioritizing our own well-being and happiness, we can achieve success on our own terms. We should strive to find a balance between professional achievement and personal fulfillment, recognizing that our worth and value as individuals are not solely tied to our achievements.
