Find a Purpose
Helping others can empower you to grow your resilience muscle. Whether you volunteer with a local charity or support a friend or family member through trying times, you can develop your self-worth and sense of purpose. Having a purpose drives you to move forward rather than to remain in place, and helping others just makes you feel good.
You can also find newly defined purpose by taking a close look at the problem or challenge you’re faced with and asking yourself what you can do about it and what you can learn from it. You don’t have to take massive action, but you may find that just the act of examining the issue head on and thinking through potential plans of actions and their likely outcomes allows you to feel less hopeless and more in command of your life. For instance, if you’re facing the challenge of a divorce, you may now have the opportunity to reshape your future in any number of ways.
If you can find purpose and motivate yourself to take initiative and action in the face of adversity, you are more likely to do so in the future, thus increasing your resilience. Develop realistic goals and make a habit of taking action consistently, no matter how small the accomplishment may be, making sure to document your actions. Acknowledging and giving yourself credit for your positive behavior is as important as the behavior itself. If you’re struggling with the loss of a job, and you spend time every day researching skills needed in the marketplace and honing your resume to align with those skills, write it down or check it off your to-do list. At the end of the day, you’ll feel more hopeful, proactive, and empowered.
It's important to try to keep things in perspective when you’re faced with challenges and obstacles. How you think about an event will play a role in how you feel and how well you’re able to cope. Look out for any tendency you may have to feel as if the world is against you, or that you will never recover. Remind yourself that you aren’t helpless because you have control over how you react to circumstances. This may be easier said than done, so rely on your trusted support group to provide you with supportive and objective feedback. Change is an inevitable part of life and accepting reality can give you the mental and emotional space to focus on circumstances that you have control over. Reminding yourself of where you’ve been and what you have overcome significantly strengthens resilience.
Sometimes a challenging event may be too much for you to cope with on your own or even with the support of friends and family. Getting help from a licensed mental health professional may be in your best interest if, as a result of grief or stress, you feel as if you are not able to function effectively or perform basic activities of life. There is no one formula for overcoming challenges, and while there may be circumstances beyond your control, you do have the power to focus on what you can control, accept support as you need it, and grow your resilience to better cope and thrive in the future.
